god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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