He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We need to get me chipped asap
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
