i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
