I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
