I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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