In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
