i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Couch. On fire.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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