Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
