We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
