You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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