Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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