At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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