apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
