***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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