ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
