SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
how does that bad decision feel?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
