omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
