how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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