There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
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no one should ever give us hovercrafts
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
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Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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