He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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