omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
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I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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