Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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