She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
