An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize