i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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