It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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