Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
