Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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