dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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