So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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