She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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