How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
