idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
