Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
