you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
