dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
