piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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