The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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