I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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