Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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