Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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