i permit you to call me
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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