Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
