I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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