This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
