this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
