I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
