Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Randomize
