If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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