Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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