Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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