My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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