This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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