Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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