so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
