Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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