She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
