Small penises have feelings too.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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