therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
