I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
