I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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