He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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