i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
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Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
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