ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
